MEAN Teachers

Something’s been on my mind lately... MEAN teachers. You never forget them.

In the third grade I had a lady teacher who scared all of us little kids. She wore fitted knit dresses with nylon stockings and high heels. She stood very straight LIKE she was a general and her pointy breasts STUCK out. She would stand at the front of the room giving back the spelling tests or homework and if your paper was NOT neat enough, she would throw it on the floor and you would have to pick it up. I can still recall the rush of FEAR when my name was called.

YEARS later, at the Catholic GIRLS high school I attended, we had to take LATIN for two years. The NUN who taught it had a bad LISP and I couldn’t understand her in English, much less LATIN. I really struggled with my homework and she would make me stand up EVERY day to humiliate me. She said I was a perfect example of a student who did NOT study.
One a day we had a big TEST scheduled and I was REALLY sick. I begged my mom to let me go to school because I knew this nun would think I was FAKING. Latin was the first class of the day. I sat in one of the front desks. By the third question I knew I was going to BARF. I stood UP and when she rushed over to reprimand me, I vomited on the floor at her feet, splashing CHUNKS all over her black robe-thing. Guess what? She never humiliated me again, and for SOME reason, for the next TWO years I always passed my Latin tests with at least a C grade. Guess even NUNS have a conscience, huh?

Another nun at that same school creeped me out. She SNEAKED around like Rowling’s SNAPE, appearing around corners without warning, trying to catch you in the ACT, of talking or laughing, activities FORBIDDEN in her presence. She always kept her classroom cold, like a CRYPT, and she only smiled when someone got punished. Once she gave me a D on a short story I spent a lot of time writing. She said she didn’t get the point of the story. Duh, I thought, I'm imitating HEMINGWAY.

What are YOUR mean teacher MEMORIES??